Can you believe it’s been a month since Lola was born? I think this has definitely been the longest month of my life in a lot of ways (being a new parent is HARD you guys) but we are hanging in there the best that we can and getting to know our sweet baby more and more every day. From what our midwives and doula have said there are a lot of things that tend to be more delayed when you have more of a traumatic birth experience and aren’t able to be together that first day or two (more on that later, need to type out my birth story soon!). Delayed start to breastfeeding can cause some hurdles and even the bonding process takes more time when you can’t be together right away after birth but we are taking each day at a time and slowly figuring it all out together. Lola had her lip and tongue tie lasered open last week and I actually think that helped to activate more of my “Mommy brain” in the bonding process since it was so hard to see/hear her be in pain for that first day. We are still relearning how to breastfeed with better latches and are trying lactation consultants, chiropractic care, and cranial sacral therapy as well as doing tongue and lip stretches every three hours around the clock for another two weeks so the opened areas don’t grow back together—it’s a lot but we’ll get there! I definitely have days where I feel like I’m just barely keeping my head above water (especially when new little fun things like plugged milk ducts appear, UGH) but I just keep repeating to myself what all my Mom friends are telling me…it won’t be forever and that this is the hardest part. Even with all the struggles though I’m still trying my hardest to feel so grateful for a healthy darling baby and soak in all the sights, smells, and sounds of a newborn in the house. Those sweet snuggles and tiny fingers and toes won’t last forever and we are starting to see the beginnings of smiles which is really exciting. All in all, life is very different and very difficult at the moment to be honest but there are some pretty dear moments as well and I’m excited to see all that this next month will bring…
Praying for you. You’re a rock star!! Keep going!! You are doing a good job!! And I hope you get some rest soon.
Roland was a VERY fussy baby. He had cholic, gas, constipatiom, ear infections, teeth…. it felt like it was always something. The first 11 months of his life felt like they lasted foreverrrrrr! Everything finally resolved around that time and time feels like it’s flying now! Of course, the first year molars are causing some issues but nothing like when he was an infant. Anyways…. I’m writing this to say we got off to a rough start too. I loved him but sometimes I kept thinking he was going to be an only child if parenting was always that difficult! Things got so much better though. Hang in there momma! Time will pass and things WILL get easier!
Oh man, 11 months of that!! You poor girl! So glad it’s gotten better finally!
Laura 🙂
Hang in there! Soak in the snuggles whenever you can, that’s all that got me thru some of those rough early days! Prayers going your way!
One of the things that helped me the most, was finally accepting that there is no ‘way its supposed to be.’ Your plans and expectations before birth, and desires on how you want things to go, don’t always work. The plan was that I would exclusively breastfeed. The reality was that my body wouldn’t cooperate. Lactation consultants, pumping round the clock, fenugreek, even prescription medication, but my milk supply remained too low for my baby’s needs. I eventually accepted the reality of supplementing with formula. It was a process though. I felt like a failure, then one of the consultants reminded me that as long as my baby was fed and loved, it was all good. A stressed Mama, is not a happy Mama, and that makes an unhappy baby as well. It did not happen overnight, but after it finally clicked in my brain, it was easier. With the second, I tried for a week, then accepted supplementing. It was so different than the two months of anxiety I went through with the first.
A long story to say; sometimes preconceived plans of ‘how it will be’ and ‘how it should be’ don’t always work for your family or situation. Do what is best for you, your baby, and your family. As long as the baby is loved and taken care of, it will all be good. Don’t stress yourself out over what isn’t working. (and all this is easier said than done, I know. 🙂 )
p.s. this may or may not apply to you and your situation. I’m not making assumptions or judgement. Just telling my story. Also, it doesn’t have to be breastfeeding, insert any issue into the story, and the outcome is the same.
Yes, trying to be a Calm Mama as best I can but it’s not always easy! My best is all I can do 🙂
Laura
You are doing amazing! Everything about the start can be so difficult and different… Hope it gets better soon 🙂 praying for you!
The newborn phase will feel like the longest amount of time, but it really will be over before you know it. You’re never alone, no problem is just you, and everything will be okay, even when it feels never ending and overwhelming and crazy. Just remember that you’re amazing and you can do it! It really feels extra stressful and thankless when all they can do is cry, but once you start getting those baby smiles, it starts getting better.
Yeah girl! It’s incredibly hard but you are doing great!! I had a very similar BF experience (he was on IV for first three days of life and didn’t nurse the whole time) but we got the hang of it around week 6 and probably pain free around 8. It’s incredibly hard and emotional stuff. But just let yourself be in it and appreciate and honour what you are going through – you will never experience this kind of baby time ever again!
Glad to hear it smoothed out eventually! Thanks!
Laura 🙂
Not a second of this hard time is wasted. Refinement comes through the fire. Be encouraged. The sweet times will be that much more sweet! Also, your baby is darling!