I am an introvert. However, I’m one of those sneaky ones that has the capabilities of being an extrovert when the situation calls for it—a gathering for work, hosting a party, meeting a new person where it’s very important that I make a personable impression— so not everyone is aware how much of an introvert I really am if they’ve mostly seen me in those situations. It’s not that I’m being fake in the instances above, it just that it’s taking every once of “people strength” I have to make it until that moment when I can be alone again and just be quiet and recharge from all that energy that it took to be personable for more than .3 seconds. When I was a kid, I would have friends over to play but my older sister would end up entertaining them because I was up in my room reading while my playmates wandered around downstairs. When my now sister-in-law Sarah met me in person for the first time after only interacting with me online for a year or so, she just kept saying she was surprised at how “quiet” I actually was in person. Even though I know that’s probably true it still surprises me to hear that from other people for some reason. And girls, any of you other naturally quiet or keep-to-yourself-in-public kind of personalities know that most of the time you will be typecast as a “bitch” by most people if you don’t immediately smile and offer every stranger you see a glass of homemade sweet tea, am I right?? Anyways, I digress, but this is my normal world as an introvert.

Then I had a baby! And guess what?

I’m still an introvert.

Want to know the cruelest thing you can do a person that tries their absolute hardest to not make eye contact or engage in conversations with strangers in public? Give them a baby. Send them out everywhere they go with a cute baby because who wants to talk to or about a cute baby?? Everyone. Literally everyone now wants to talk to you. I always prayed Lola would fall asleep when I took her out in her stroller partially because that makes shopping easier but mostly because I could put the cover over her stroller and no one could see how beautiful and cute she was and then I didn’t have to tell the lady behind me in line at Starbucks everything about her from her birth weight to her middle name.

And now that she’s an adorable toddler not only do I have the cutest baby on the planet, but I have one that loves to wave at everyone and walk right up to people allowing the conversations to start before I can even get over to where she is. People, who are not within talking distance of us, will frequently shout their assessments of how adorable she is, yell questions about her, or just bellow out how much she looks just like her Daddy (which she does). My beautiful baby is a riptide of social interactions and no life jacket can save me now…

All that to say, I don’t think there’s much I can do about the new “in public” part of my Motherhood. Babies are a magnet so if you don’t want to interact with strangers, you should probably just stay home. There are however, some observations I’ve made about my introvert Motherhood here at home:

1. I’m not the “fun” parent—before you say “Aww, no! Of course you’re just as fun as Todd, don’t even say that” it’s OK. I promise. I’ve given up feeling bad that I’m not as fun as Todd is because Todd IS very fun! He’s naturally over-the-top silly, carefree, and makes a game out of everything. He’s great! He’s being himself. I know that I have my silly/fun/carefree moments with Lola too, but I don’t have to keep them coming one after the other just to try and keep up with Dad. Let him do his thing and I’ll do “fun Mom” in my own way.

2. I make space for (some) silence—I know all the baby experts go on and on about how babies should hear a billion words a day to help their brains grow and you should narrate everything you do throughout the day to them and while I tried to do that, I just couldn’t keep up. It felt so unnatural to speak constantly, whether that’s to a tiny baby or a full grown adult, that I felt like I could never meet whatever goal they had set for me. Reading books aloud was good (grown-up books too, not just kid books) since that helped take the pressure off me a bit to think of interesting conversation topics. Who worries about running out of things to talk to their baby about? Me. And I want to talk to Lola and explain things to her, tell her what we are doing and teach her things as play, but also, sometimes we just go on a walk and say nothing—just listening to some pretty music or what birds are singing—and that’s ok with me. Or I’ll sit nearby and read while she plays with lots of smiles, kisses, and glances thrown in throughout—but it’s mostly rather quiet. Just both of us doing our own thing while having the pleasure of doing it together. Besides, maybe she’s an introvert as well and needs that quiet time for herself to recharge too.

3. I’m “Morning Mommy” for a bit each day—I know it’s not true for every extrovert, but I’ll just say that the biggest extroverts I’ve known over the years were all morning people. I’ve had some of them literally leaping into my room in the morning singing some loud and cheerful song like a dopy lunatic and I’ve wanted to punch them in the face. I need some time to wake up in the morning before I’m ready for songs and games but Lola is one of those babies that wakes up at 100% percent and is ready to go so doesn’t quite need that time for herself. I know some Moms will wake up before the kids get up to have that time to themselves, but lately Lola’s been a 6:15ish morning girl and I just can’t fathom getting up before her for any reason that trumps a few more minutes of sleep. Anyways, I’m a bit more subdued each morning until my coffee cup is getting low and at times I’ve felt bad about that (shouldn’t I be singing and opening her curtains in the morning with Disney songbirds to hold back the panels?) but you know what? It’s fine. I try not to be grumpy and I figure if I can at least be sleepy and slow, but sweet, then I think we’ll both be able to greet the day happily.

4. It’s ok to keep social interactions short—Sometimes I feel bad pulling her away from a stranger that’s talking to her or going the opposite direction from someone that I’m pretty sure will want to gush all over her, but it’s really not something I need to worry much about. There will always be more people for her to meet around the corner and we don’t have to so the Seinfeld stop-and-chat with every person we pass by. Usually when you are out with a toddler you are on a mission anyways so it’s ok to be more focused and throw smiles and toddler waves as you go past people in a flash so they’ll say, “I think that was a really cute baby, but they went by too fast to be sure…”

Anyways, these are a few of the things that I think about in connection to Motherhood and my introvert status. If you’ve had any of the same experiences, leave an anonymous comment below after you recharge from your last social interaction, or, just give a silent nod of solidarity from the comfort of your own personal space and I’ll feel that too…

INTROVERTS UNITE! (Quietly and separately of course)

xo. Laura

P.S. If you neeeeed that shirt, you can get it here. Also, here’s a similar skirt, and I loove those boots (especially after I painted some gold stars on them).

P.P.S. All the above aside, if you do ever see me out and want to say hello, please do! I promise I’m nice (usually!) and not as cranky as I sound—ha!

Who is that teenager above that we took to the beach!? What a big girl! We visited my Pittsburgh family last weekend for a rare summer time visit (usually we are there in winter for Christmas) and while we had a classic Pittsburgh weather pattern of at least some rain everyday, we still got in some fun activities before (and during!) the showers. We took Lola to Lake Erie so that she could have some beach time and it was pretty clear rather quickly that she was having the time of her life! The sand, the waves, the seagulls, the endless supply of crackers and fruit my Mom brought—happy girl!! Lola’s sweet suit is so adorable! I just wish I had known that the darker colored lake sand would get intertwined with the suit fabric and create small spots all over her suit that make it look perpetually dirty—anyone know how to get that out?? It’s probably good that I didn’t see this suit before the trip or I don’t think I could have stopped myself—and it has a matching cap? Too cute.

Aaaaand you guys I know have seen me a ton in those heart sunnies this summer. I actually tried to order the tan/nude color to take with me on the trip before I left but I didn’t quite get the order in in time so they were waiting for me when I got back—oh well! Definitely my piece of the summer. That’s my brother Joel in the pink trunks (I love that he reps pink—his blogger wife has taught him well). It’s ok, you can say it, we look nothing alike and we know it! People have thought my sister and I were twins at certain ages, but no one has every thought Joel was related to me—ha!! Aren’t those high-waisted striped bottoms so cute on Aunt Sarah? (similar here) They also had matching sunnies as well to catapult them into the cuteness hall of fame.We ordered this beach tent for the trip and it was totally worth it! It pops up in a snap and closes again quickly (although you may want to rinse the sand out and dry before storing for the off season). We played cards in it for a while while we had some lighter pop up showers on the beach while everyone else scurried for the tree line or their cars and at one point we had 5 adults and one toddler in it (although we were sitting very close together, but, hey, we’re family!).

I also took this coverup tee for the swim sessions (super comfy! I’ll wear it around the house for sure too). I ordered this palm one but if felt a little too fancy for the lake so I left it at home but I’ve been wearing it around our pool at home and as a flowy kimono to go out in.

I will say that the flights getting to Pittsburgh were a bit tough since 14 months is such a rough age to fly with. She just wanted to be down and walking and didn’t understand why she couldn’t at times and she’s not at the age where she will watch videos with headphones (especially on a small phone screen). We let her stand on the floor between our legs when we could and tried to get her to transfer things from the seat pockets (which worked for a bit) but she was basically only happy if she was eating so we tried to feed her one puff at a time for 90 minutes to keep her from screaming and flailing—fun!! I’ve heard good suggestions since then about giving kids that age post-it notes to stick on everything or putting small snacks in those milti-window pill boxes so it takes them forever to eat all them…totally trying that next time! All in all, still better than driving 18 hours with a toddler that hates her carseat for sure!

It’s always so good to see my family and soak in their love and watch them love on Lola now too. We have a family vacation planned with everyone in my immediate family in October in Ashville, NC so I can’t wait to do that with the whole gang this time!

xo. Laura